This is something to think about! I can tell I'm going to ramble already, this question tickles my brain.visitor9000 wrote: Mon Mar 28, 2022 12:18 pm (Classic question: would you date an attractive person with terrible taste in shoes, or someone with fantastic taste who's not otherwise attractive? I think answeing that honestly shows the relative strength of each component.)
I do think I'd rather be with someone attractive (not just physically but an attractive personality too) than someone who isn't who happens to wear the shoes I prefer. One of the ugliest women I know--terrible personality and mean, which makes her plain looks worse--has the most beautiful feet I've ever seen. On one level I think she knows this, and wears shoes that compliment them, styles I'd normally like. But I've never made an attempt to befriend her just because her personality is so awful that it makes her unattractive. I'm not really interested in her or her things--I wouldn't be able to talk to this woman or play with her stuff without thinking about how much I dislike her personally. I never really thought about it until now, but even something like smelling her shoes sounds disgusting to me rather than appealing the way it would for a woman I like.
A good friend of mine said she thinks I'm "demisexual." I didn't know what that meant and she explains that it means I'm only sexually interested in people I really like, and that it's associated with people on the autism spectrum. I think there might be some truth in that, but I also sort of assumed that's kind of normal. That it's normal to be more attracted to people you like, and that it would carry over to a sexual fetish. People I like are more attractive to me so it follows that their shoes (or socks, or feet, my fetish sort of encompasses all of it) are more desirable.
But as far as physical attractiveness versus fetish appeal? It makes me think back on a certain friend. She wasn't ugly or anything, but she also wouldn't really stand out in a crowd. She was also responsible for me being the most sexually satisfied I'd ever been for a couple of years. We had a friendship that went back to high school and we weren't afraid to tell each other things that we didn't tell anyone else. Anyway, she allowed me essentially free use of her shoes (with a couple rules) all because she liked me and thought it was a nice thing to do. Most of her shoes were nothing special but when you like a girl and she likes and understands you enough to give you that opportunity and trust? It's fulfilling in ways that are more than immediately sexual, too.
Of course now, that experience shaped me and I kinda have a thing for cheap flip flops, dirty slippers, and no-name sneakers, lol. But if I like the girl it's going to be a lot more intense and fulfilling.